Family, Mommy Life, Mommy's Reflections, Relationships

Mommy’s Dream Home

How do you picture your dream home?

When I was a kid, I am fantasizing about having a big house. The ones I see in Cartoons and Movies. Big. Beautiful. Extravagant. A place where me and my siblings, cousins and childhood friends can play hide and seek, run all day and shout our lungs out as a sign that we are indeed having fun. My dream house has a garden where I can throw a picnic-like party or grow different kinds of plants and flowers (even though I don’t like flowers that much). My house is blue, like a calm blue sky… Because blue is my favorite color!

Simple Blue House
This is the kind of house that I have in mind.

 

But as I grew up (and old), my preferences became different. I no longer wanted a big house. Because:

  1. I got scared of big houses – thanks to horror films! Hue hue hue! 😛
  2. A big house means a bigger mess to clean. It is high maintenance, too!
  3. I have learned that not all big houses are considered a happy house

 

The third point means a lot to me. Sadly, I have met a lot of people living in very beautiful houses they cannot even call their home. Some are living in (“from what I’ve thought”) a comfortable life, yet they will reveal to me that they only live with – if not their mother – their father only (or with their grandparents alone). I remember a friend whom I envy a little because she seemed to live a very happy life with her family, in a beautifully engineered house and yet when she told me that she’s an adopted child of her parents… My heart bleeds a little for her. I’ve seen in her eyes the longing to meet who her real parents are.

I have come to realize that no life is indeed perfect. That is when I stopped fantasizing about having a perfect life. I stopped dreaming of big houses. The story of my friend hit me very hard because I feel like I am ungrateful with the small house I was living in years ago. I felt guilty. But you know what? That friend of mine also taught me an important lesson in life. Her life may seem flawed in reality because she doesn’t even know who her real parents are. Yet nobody notices that sad truth – because she chooses not to become sad about it. She chose to be happy and feel grateful that she was able to have good adoptive parents who gave her the life she deserves and taught her how to be a kind and loving person that she really is now.

From that moment on, I told myself that I wouldn’t mind living in a small space as long as my family’s relationship with one another is alright and intact. As long as we live in a safe community, even I don’t have a garden of my own I will still be forever grateful.

True enough, when my husband and I got married, we moved in to a condominium unit in Parañaque. It is a small studio type but can be provisioned to have 1 to 2 small rooms. It is really a little space but is filled with joy and love because of our dear little one, Gabriel.

It can sometimes be a hassle because when the kitchen gets dirty, I feel like our living room area is already messy too! I would sometimes browse the Internet to look for a house & lot that is for sale. A house where I can have a bigger kitchen, living room and even a mini library! Unfortunately, it’s either very far from the city (where most of our relatives are living) or very expensive for us – we just can’t afford it! But it’s okay… I leave it all to God. I would always pray that if God wants us to live in a bigger house than what we have right now, it will happen in His own time.

Everything happens for a reason! 🙂 I know God gave us a small space we now call our home because He knows I don’t like a messy house and yet I don’t have all the time to clean it (since I am currently working in the office too). I have a baby to take care of and prioritize first. He doesn’t want me to get too tired, right?

Some are blessed to live in a bigger house. And we are blessed to live in a little space. I am contented and happy that we are at least living in our own home. After all, building a happy and purposeful life, and creating a God-fearing, God-centered family is what really matters to me.

Anyone can build and live in a big house. But it takes a loving family to build a home.

 

25 Comments

  1. Kimberley Reyes (@ektreyes)

    I used to fantasize about living in a super big, ranch-style home. Lots of space to run around in with lots of rooms to accommodate guests. Now, though, I just want a simple home. We live in a condo too with limited space, but that doesn’t matter really. What matters to us now is that the family is together under one roof. 🙂

  2. Husband and I are fortunate to have a supportive mom. She helped us build our dream house. Little by little, the big house is now beautiful to look at. But there’s this feeling of emptiness.

    Husband and I with the our kids, of course, left the big house and rented a small space just nearby. It is in the comforts of our small rented space that I find peace and independence. At our small house, i can cook what I want and clean whenever I please. And most importantly, husband can sleep at the sofa or just be him.

    1. I totally agree with this. The husband also enjoys being able to lie down in the sofa while watch his favorite tv show or movie. Mas may freedom if you own the house talaga. 🙂

  3. den

    I love this post! We are currently looking at properties to buy, we are eyeing a 6 bedroom place because we want it to be a home for 3 families! For ours, my mom,dad, and brother and E’s parents. If not for that thought we might consider a smaller place.

  4. I totally agree with you. It’s so much easier to build a big house than it is to build a home. I’d rather have a small home than a big, beautiful house where God and love do not reside. As the saying goes, “Home is where the heart is.”

  5. mhaan.a-ds

    We are currently living in a big house (a 7-bedroom house) with my in-laws. And I agree that it is really hard to maintain its cleanliness that is why we need to hire helpers. My MIL is to old na to work around the house kasi. Also, I heard some unfortunate stories living with the in-laws, but I’m lucky I am not of them. For the meantime, we will stay with them until we are able buy our own house. Hmmm in 5 years time perhaps.

  6. I love your thoughts about homes! It’s never occurred to me to live in a really big house because of the reasons you mentioned above — plus I’m afraid of burglary huhu. I’m contented to live in a big-enough house!

  7. Same thing. I also used to want a bigger house. I grew up poor and lived in a small house. 1 bedroom we share as a family. But then I realized, yeah! Bigger place means more nook to clean. Now, we are house hunting. I actually want a small place basta comfortable. And yeah. It’s all about the memories you’ll build as a family.

  8. This is so true! Love is enough to make a home beautiful. I live in a pad also with my husband and son and life’s just fine and sweet! I wont trade it for an empty big house.

  9. Reading your blog post made me realize a great deal of things. I was also smiling because at some part I can truly relate. I also dream to have a big house, but eventually, after years of persisting in this world I realized a lot things. I’m simply satisfied with whatever God is paying me now, as long as I’m happy then I’m fine.

    1. I’m happy that you’ve got something out from this post. 🙂 Thank you for reading it. God bless!

  10. Awww. My dream house was the one like in the live-action Sabrina the Teenage Witch. I love a house with the antique vibe. I am totally in love with the old Spanish houses like the ones in Ilocos. It just gives me that classy feeling. And for a house to become a home, it really needs love. Plus, it does not matter that much where you live, as long as you are with the ones you want to live with and love truly.

    1. I agree with you about the old Spanish houses. Kaso hindi ko rin mapigilang maisip na baka it has ghost living in it kasi old house na. Hahaha! Medyo duwag lang talaga. :))

  11. Veeyah | The Indy Miss

    Such heart-warming words. I agree that having a huge, beautiful house doesn’t always mean there’s a happy family living inside. I’m still in my early 20’s and I still dream of having a nice house, but not for myself. If I had my way with the design, I want a lot of sunlight and glass all around.

    1. I’ve imagined your dream house as a modern one! That will someday come to life for sure. 😀

  12. I agree with your thoughts about a big house esp. the cleaning thing! Weve move to a small house which we are renting years ago then we were blessed with a bigger two storey house and cleaning up is really time consuming and painful.. on the other hand it makes us move freely and comfortably esp the kids and us kase we are big people and im really having a problem with small spaces i always bump myself in the corner, Lol! But its not about how big the house is.. it is always about the relationship of the family members that matters..

  13. We have the same standard of a dream house. However, we’re just renting right now. I regret that I didn’t save for our future. If I have known during my early 20s that I need to really save, I should have done so.

  14. We also live in a small house. And the boys even named ours the small house. We do not have fancy bedrooms and huge bathroom. We do not have oven or big refrigerator. But our house is full of toys and of books. Of laughter and of loving and caring. I believe these are what matter most.

  15. I totally understand why you have got that beautiful house in mind. I would love that one as well , that is so beautiful ! But don’t forget that owning a house might be a great thing (not paying rent because you are the owner is a great approach) , but owning property requires a lot of constantly investing money.I know what I am talking about , the annual taxes , the maintenance, if anything breaks it’ll be all up to you, you can’t phone the landlord to get things fixed! Owning property is a good thing , but it all needs to be thought about properly. If you have to take a mortgage , what if you lose your job ? Will you be able to pay or might you risk to lose the property? Banks don’t know or show any “mercy”. You can live a happy life even in a small hut if you are living with the people you love. It takes hands to build a house , but it takes hearts to build a home 🙂

    1. Thanks Klaudia! Your insights are so beautiful. I totally agree with you about the banks. We have a lot of foreclosed properties here in the Philippines and I feel bad for the owners of those properties somehow. I know they’ve invested a lot of money on their houses but maybe because of an unfortunate event like losing their jobs, they had to let go of the house. 🙁

  16. I totally agree with you.. I too used to dream of a big house but horror stories turn me off too.. I would be content with a simple and small Japanese/ Korean style home with Tatami flooring and bedding …I want just a small cozy house to call home….

    1. Because you’ve mentioned Korean style home, I remember how I fancy living in those small yet cozy kawaii homes in Korea! Haha! I see it in Koreanovelas and I really find their houses there so cuuuute and comfortable.

  17. A house is not a home so more importantly mate build a warm home among your love ones. Having a fancy house is everyone’s dream , so don’t stop chasing it!
    To me, my dream house is a bungalow with a spacious lawn for me to camp or have outdoor activities.

    http://www.truebluecebuano.wordpress.com

  18. melissa

    I really love this. We’re a big family but we live in a small or “just right” house. People often say that we should move to a bigger house but I dont mind. This is where we grew up and I dont mind sharing a room with my sisters. Also, I love how we are all close to each other when eating…. it’s our home. And you’re right, I guess it’s all a matter of perspective. Thanks for the lovely reminder. I hope more people get to see this 🙂

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