Sometimes, because of the heartache and tears that every relationship I had in my entire life has instilled in me, I just wanted to be alone and free — go to some place very far away — with my books as my company and partner in life, enough for me to go on and live. I’d just be in the world where no one could hurt me; where heartaches are just a part of the road to a happy ever after with the one you truly love. A place where I can feel like i’m the most beautiful princess, or the braviest warrior, or the most fragile girl where there will be that someone who will save me from the pit I am into. He will love me, cherish me and we will be in our happiest being together.
But then, this is life. This is reality.
Fairytales aren’t real and it’s just a pigment of someone’s imagination. One must realize that there are no perfect story. That one kind of relationship I envy most might just end tomorrow. The kind of love story I may be fantasizing about has its flaws hidden no one’s dared to know. The novels, the fairytales written in a happy ever after might not have ended happy after all. The story just ends because it’s the end of the page already; or the book is mandated to only have 246 pages because the publisher says so. The characters are still alive, we wouldn’t know the supposedly next chapter by then. It could’ve been they have eventually parted ways and the princess might have met another prince.
With this kind of realizations that somehow compliments the life I live… that tells me to “Go and live alone. You’d rather not love at all ’cause love would make you cry. Love would hurt you ’til you rather want to die and be gone. Love, even in fairytales or novels, is uncertain and has no real direction.”
But… I strongly believe in the power of love. Maybe that kind of love I’ve read, I’ve seen on books or have heard from television are but a portion of the writer’s imagination…. but it’s still love after all.
If I’d be asked… I just couldn’t live a life without love. Maybe, just maybe, it’s what keeps me alive then.