Sometimes I wish to have the kind of superpower or magic that in just a snap of a finger, our house will be neat and clean, there is food on our table, then I can just eat, lay down afterward and rest my mind to get that much-needed sleep.
But in reality, especially for a working mom like me who needs to go to work in the daytime and attend to my baby’s needs after working hours… Even a clean house is almost not achievable. I had to accept it. There was a time that I felt physically and emotionally drained because I am tired of commuting to and from work and I still have chores to do. I have to cook food, clean the house before I pick – up my son from my in-laws’ house (just a building away from our home) and wait for my husband there to arrive since we have different working shifts. Once he arrives, we’ll head back to our home, I try to put Gabriel to sleep by breastfeeding him and if successful, I will then pre-wash the used cloth diapers of the day. I am lucky if I accomplish all of those by 11 o’clock in the evening. But usually, 12 in the midnight is when I will crawl up to bed with my husband and Gabriel to catch some sleep. After 3-4 hours, I will have to wake up and prepare for work again. That’s a cycle.
As much as I wanted to get a house helper, we just can’t because we are living in a condo unit and we have no space for her as of the moment. So I have to face the #NoYayaProblems. Good thing, I am still breathing. I know I am surviving. And as I go on this journey of learning motherhood and family life, I have realized some few things I think I could share the world with.
1) Say goodbye to a clean house.
I think this is one of the hardest things I’ve learned on this motherhood journey. Though we only live in a small space, maintaining our home neat and clean is a mission impossible. Other mommies taught me about this as well. No matter how hard I try, if I will have to do it all by myself and without a house helper, I will end up not only exhausted but also unhappy in a way.
Once, I stumble upon an infographic while I was browsing facebook.
It hit me hard because it made me realize that I really cannot do it all at the same time. I am not a super momma at all. And now I know why there are times that I feel like I am gonna go crazy any moment. It’s just hard to have the kind of balance in life. We can never have it all. That’s why for me, I just chose to let go of the idea of having a well-cleaned house for me and my son to stay happy. 🙂
2) Cleaning Schedule and sticking to it (as much as possible).
I said in tip #1 that I learned to say goodbye to a clean house. But I didn’t mean that we live in a really messy, dirty house. I still make an effort to do household chores ONE AT A TIME. I just gave up doing too many things in a day (or night). As a solution, I made my own cleaning schedule. After work, I do one household chore on top of cooking food of course and get it done so I can somehow sleep in peace.
3) I learned to Delegate.
We are women. We grew up with the idea that most household chores are done by women. But in my case, since we don’t have a house helper, it helps a lot that I can easily delegate some household tasks to my husband. And he is always willing to help, in all fairness to him. 🙂 He does the washing of the dishes (because most of the time, I breastfeed Gabriel after we eat our meals), throws away the garbage, hangs the clothes after it’s been washed and put them in the cabinet once all dried up. So in case you’re already feeling drained and would like to get a little bit of rest, ask someone who lives with you and whom you think you can rely on for some little help. It might be your husband, or if you have kids who can already understand and is willing to do things for you then you’re lucky. Not only then you’re teaching them to do household chores but you’re also showing them the meaning of responsibility.
If you need help, ask. Then it will be given to you. Just don’t forget to say “Thank you!” 🙂
4) Wake up early.
This one, I admit on not doing all the time. LOL! But this is work-in-progress. It’s true that the early bird catches the worm. The earlier I get up from the bed, the more things I will be able to accomplish. That means more time for rest and quality time with the family.
How about you? Are you a working mom with no house helper, too? How are you getting along with it? Share with me some tips on how are you surviving your motherhood journey! Hope to hear from you soon! 🙂