Mommy's Reflections, Relationships

Promises

promises

            High School is one of the best parts of my teenage life. I wanted to be in high school forever of my life. But eventually, everything comes to an end, and it gave me the fact that I can’t be a high school student all my life. I have to move on… I and my classmates have to go on… The only assurance I’ve hold onto before, during and after our graduation ceremonies were the promises they’ve said and I’ve heard while we were hugging and crying onto each other’s shoulders are the most famous line of promises. “We’ll always be friends! Promise… We’ll stay in touch!”… And just as when those promises seemed to be broken, my life stopped and I felt I was the only person left in the whole wide world.

            I always think of me and my high school’s closest friends not being apart from each other because I love them very much! Within those four years of being with them, I learned to love them, to care for them like my real sisters and brothers. They’ve became my second family. I wouldn’t survive the school’s most stressing moments without having them by my side to help me, to laugh with, to cry onto… My life will be very different if they will just disappear in an instant! And it did become very different.

When we graduated high school, we’ve gone to different colleges and universities. We took different courses and had different class schedules. Most of us studied in Manila, in other provinces, while I am stuck at Las Piñas City. When I’m so busy, they aren’t and when I’m so free from school’s stress, they’re too loaded with school works. I’ll get bored, and would want to be with them, talk with them about how our college lives are going. But it wouldn’t happen.

I tried making friends in college but I did have a very hard time. I experienced culture shock. Most of my college classmates are so far different from the ones I had in high school.  Some cut classes to go mall hopping, some are not – so – money wise they ALWAYS eat lunch on fast food chains and prestigious restaurants. And in result, alone as is, I eat my packed lunch I’ve prepared in the morning… I’ll do my home works, study my lessons and go home all alone… It made me want to go back to high school wherein I always have someone to do tasks and answer assignments, go to library or eat snacks during recess. It made me want to get my high school friends back. It made me demand on them to please have time for me because I am being too depressed of finding difficulties to cope up with this new life. I would tell them every day through text messages how I badly missed them, our best laughing moments, our togetherness, how we all dreamt of having a career but never having to forget the friendship we’ve established. Sometimes they will respond to it, oftentimes they won’t and those scenarios had triggered my anxieties more and more. I was so alone. I can’t make new friends because I was too attached into high school and I can’t move on from its happiness and promises. Eventually, I got tired of it and stopped acting like a bitter individual because I was afraid that time would come, hatred may grow in me because of how they made me felt so left out.

When I have realized that I was the only one who’s still into the past, I stopped reminiscing and gave focus on my studies instead. I learned to socialize and welcome other people in my life once again. I’ve met some college classmates who eventually became my friends and study buddies too.  We hang out, eat our packed lunch together and sharing it with each other, do our home works and activities and conduct group study oftentimes. Later on, the anxiety and feeling of being too lonely went away. I became too occupied with everything about college life, and then I realized that they’re maybe doing the same thing.

I never thought they would miss me, but when the semestral break came, they started communicating with me again. They gave calls, sent me messages and even set up a meeting for us to be reunited. I was then so excited! We talked about how hard and fun at the same time our college lives were; how we missed each other’s presence. We laugh our stomachs out reminiscing about the past. Then I’ve noticed how grown – ups we’ve became but still kept to be just ourselves, just the way we were when we first met each other. I felt nothing but happiness of being with them again. I’ve forgiven them in an instant from making me feel terrible because I thought they’ve already forgotten me, that they failed to stay in touch as they’ve promised. I fell in love with our friendship more when they’ve made me feel that we’ll really be friends forever! It erased my worries of not being with them anymore. Our friendship is not just being with one another all the time.  It’s how we keep it, maintain it and continue loving each other. I realized that it wasn’t the “we’ll stay in touch” part is the most important line in our farewell messages before we’ve let go of high school. It is the line “We’ll always be friends” that counts. It is the very essence of our promises…

Live. Laugh. Love. Write. Pray.

Mommy Mitch

7 Comments

  1. You are right we always miss High School’s friends this all thing and days of High School..really very nice post.. 🙂

    1. Mtchkls

      Thank you! 🙂

  2. I’m close to my college friends than HS friends because I’ve been with them for 4 years. When I was in HS nagtransfer kasi ko ng school so less bond with my friends. Ang hirap talaga pag naggraduate, it is really hard to keep in touch, lalo na kung abroad na yung iba.

  3. In my case, I love my college friends waaaay more than my high school friends. I felt like a sore thumb in high school, while I felt so at home in college. Maybe because my course was cut for me and my friends, so we were all like-minded. Like-minded yet so different in many ways.

    Ditto my dorm mates–we relied on each other whenever we were sick or heartbroken.
    I guess the beauty of going to a far college/university is that you spend a lot of time with friends that they become family.

  4. They high school life is the most exciting of all stages in a teenager’s life. I pretty had a memorable.and fun high school.as well, but I enjoyed my college years more.

  5. astrodarlings

    It ‘s really cool that you are able to catch up with your friends from high school/ college. Really good to keep the connections.

  6. I really love to go back to HS too. But when I do, I want to take my husband with me. Naku, baka ultimate crush ko sya kung naging HS schoolmate ko sya. lol. I love my HS barkadas too. Even now, we still communicate. Nakakamiss nga lang, it’s been a while since the last time we were complete.

Let me hear your precious thoughts! :)