December is one of my favourite months of the year! Aside from the fact that it is when most of us are celebrating the birth of our Saviour, Jesus Christ, it is also a period of time when I get to reflect on how the entire year went by. I love that I get to internalize and think about the things that went wrong and what I should do to improve and make up for it in the following year. The things that went well and triggered the happy hormones in me. In all fairness to how my 2016 has been. It’s never good all the time; it has been risky but pretty much exciting. This year’s filled with love and I can’t help but feel blessed!
There are plenty of things I am thankful for this year and I like to give focus on it in this post. After all, exercising a grateful heart is good for us, right? As the law of attraction says:
Do you believe in that? Well, I do! That’s why I try to always divert my thoughts on the things that are good so that I will also feel good. And that includes the things which I am really thankful for in my life!
Let me share with you the greatest milestones in my life this year. These three things are what I am most thankful for in 2016.
A few months ago, I’ve written about one of the riskiest moves I’ve made this year. It was resigning from my stable, regular office work and be a WAHMomma. I left my corporate work without the assurance and guarantee of prospering in the freelancing industry. I’ve only put my faith in the Lord and fully believed in myself that I will thrive in my chosen path.
Two weeks after I’ve resigned, I got my first ever job as a WAHMomma. I got hired as a VA – Helpdesk / Support Ninja in a UK-based digital marketing agency.
Up to this time that I am writing this post, I am still a ninja and I am enjoying every bit of it! 😉
It’s amazing that I have great colleagues (whom I communicate with through an online messaging app), appreciative bosses (who are not even bossy at all!) and best of all, the opportunity to work in the comfort of our home! Honestly, working with my current client right now brought back my self-esteem again. It’s just great that they’re very generous in giving thanks even in the simplest form for every task that I do. I am just so blessed to be a ninja! I am so blessed that I am able to earn money and provide my utmost care for the family, too, as a WAHMoma.
I’m a young Mom. I got pregnant (out of wedlock) with my first child, Gabriel, at the age of 22. But there have been no regrets, really! The moment I saw two red lines in the PT kit I used around 2 years ago, I knew right then that I am ready for Motherhood. Fast forward to this year, the exact same date from 2 years ago (it was September 15, 2014, when I got the big fat positive result for Gabriel), I was able to confirm that I am pregnant again. And this time, I wasn’t prepared. Neither my husband nor our first born was ready for this. It was unplanned!
And mind you, my husband and I was on a natural birth control method when we conceived another life.
The future scared the trying-hard-to-be-optimistic-soul out of me. I suddenly got scared of the future. On how are we going to raise our kids with the money that we currently have in our savings account. The thought of having to pay yet hospitalization bills when the time comes that I will have to deliver our second child, the monthly doctor visits, and vaccination fees are so dreading.
Admittedly, there were times I would often throw a question in my head on why did the Lord allow this to happen? I am not feeling ungrateful. It’s just that, with our current financial situation, I can’t help but be a worry-wart.
One day, I found God’s answer to my question in my old journal dated 2013. Three years ago, I was a lost soul. I’m not medically diagnosed as a person with depression, but the symptoms pretty much existed in me. Worse case, I was suicidal. I was empty. One day I’m happy, the next day I am drained. It just feels like I am nothing.
Truth be told, I can’t even imagine how my ex-boyfriend-now-husband was able to keep up with me on that phase of my life. I can’t count how many times I threatened him that I will kill myself. And that how I made him feel like he would be accountable for it. That was me – I blame the people around me for feeling empty and for not noticing that I am already feeling empty.
That’s why when I got hold of that old journal again, it gave me chills as I know I’ve written so many depressing thoughts on it. I was able to recall the memories but at least the feeling wasn’t the same anymore.
On the days that I was feeling okay, I would write in that old journal of mine. Just plainly expressing my thoughts through pen and paper. There’s this one instance that I wrote a letter to myself. It is the list of the things I could look forward to, in order to prevent myself from taking away my own life. Crazy as it sounds, the dreams I’ve written on that page helped me throughout battling the mental illness.
As I read through it and look back, I can’t help but cry. Three years ago, I’ve written one of the reasons why I should continue to live in spite of the hopelessness, helplessness, and emptiness that was living inside of me. And right now, it is indeed coming to life!
Michelle, remember your dream of becoming a Mother… You want to be the best Mom that your son or daughter could ever have. You’ve planned for it. You’ve dreamt of it… So pursue it!
Remember your dream of having your own happy family someday – filled with hopes and dreams. A home full of love, genuine joy and respect for one another; how you want your kids to be who and what they really want to be in their life. You want them to pursue what they’ve dreamed of becoming in the future. You promised that to yourself and to your future kids, right? So continue living…
It was a long letter to myself but those lines were the ones that really hit me as I read through that page again. Wow. That’s how the Lord answered my question. I realized that because He loves me this much, that He wanted me to continue living, He has granted one of my greatest dreams in life. To become a mother to not just one, but two beautiful kids! To have my own imperfect yet happy family which I now have, and live in a home full of love which we already do.
After reading that part of my old journal and realizing how blessed me and my family for expecting an addition to our family, my faith grew even stronger. I just have to really put my trust in the Lord. I can never question God’s ways for His plans are always way better than our plans.
Last time, I shared how thankful I was, I am and I will always be, for finding my way back to the Lord’s Arms through The Feast. And I’ve brought not just myself, but my family as well! We’ve been attending The Feast at SM Bicutan since August 2016 and I have to admit that my week doesn’t feel complete without doing so. It’s always great to hear God’s Words, be able to internalize on every bit of it and go out from the place with new learnings and wisdom to carry out for the following week. I am just thankful to this community because they’ve welcomed me and my family with open arms and without judgment. The people behind The Feast are true inspirations that we can grow deeply rooted in faith in Jesus Christ, too!
Those are just some of the things that I am really grateful for this year! Writing about it in the month of December feels just great as it makes me think of how wonderful and blessed my life really is.
I know it’s still early to write about a conclusion of how my 2016 has been, but boy, it is an amazing roller coaster year! I hope I can write every bit of its details but I know these are best shared and talked about over a cup of coffee and a delicious merienda. I fret I might bore you if I continued on writing a long post! 😛
And speaking of coffee and merienda on a December, don’t you just miss the smell and taste of Pinoy delicacies that are mostly available especially every Advent season? I honestly do! I think most Filipino families do! So I suggest that this Christmas let your loved ones taste the Filipino Christmas through Johann’s Blendpresso specials Puto Bumbong and Queso De Bola coffee-based flavoured drinks (wait, what?! Amazing flavours and it sounds yummy, I know right?!).
Johann’s Coffee and Beverages are owned by JKL, the same owner of Garage 88 and Oikys. They offer a variety of perfectly handcrafted beverages at an affordable price with superb quality and taste! Hey, coffee lovers (present!), this one is for you! 🙂 Go visit their Website and Facebook page for more details.
This article has been written as part of Johann’s Thankful for you 2016 campaign. It is a campaign that encourages people to share the things they are thankful for this year. Whether it’s about giving thanks to a person, an opportunity or an event, I joined the campaign because I believe that being thankful and wholeheartedly writing about it, is one way of exercising and living life with a grateful heart! 🙂
Anyhoo, I’d like to know how your 2016 has been and what are the things you’re thankful for. I hope it’s been pretty great like mine! Let’s talk in the comments section below! 😉